That reality really hit me hard when I found myself apologizing for saying no. I apologized for not wanting something. I apologized for protecting myself.
Learn how to say no. You need to stand your ground. No means no. Those are things I preach to my friends and family on a daily basis.
But when I was put into a situation where I should have done exactly that, somehow something bigger overtook me. My body and my voice had a life of its own, it’s like it had some sort of a default setting, or rather an emergency mode that was set to deal with a situation of this nature.
And my mind went numb.
It couldn’t breath. It did not know how to deal with this bullshit that my body and voice decided to do, apparently an attempt to protect me.
But my soul was screaming. Not out of fear, no. It was calling out to my body and my voice to snap out of it. Stop saying sorry. Stop giving in. Stop being cordial, gentle, mannered. Stop letting him touch you, manhandle you. Stop trying to assure him that he is not the problem. Stop trying to tell him that you are at fault. You know you are not at fault. You know he is the problem. You know he isn’t listening. You know you don’t want it so stop letting him convince you that you do. You don’t need this. YOU DON’T NEED THIS.
None of you need this.
Do not ever say sorry to someone else for saying no. It is not your obligation. It is not your duty to please or give pleasure to someone else.
Your only obligation is towards yourself. Your only duty is to listen to what you want.
So when you don’t, the only person you should say sorry to, is yourself.